Dried Out;

I feel dried out.

biology biology biology.

world history. world history.

blaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

lack of sleep.

I apologize. My mind is drained of creativity.

Competition;

I stare into each of their eyes and begin to hate them. I hate what the way they look back at me like they know something I don't. I hate how they think they deserve the right to laugh and joke amongst themselves.

When they cheer on their team they sound overly confident. Yet when we cheer it's expected and right. When the other teams scores, the ref made a bad call.

Winning is the most amazing feeling on earth.
Losing makes you feel like crap.

As my season comes to an end, I'll miss this feeling. The feeling of competition.

Breaking News;

I no longer have an active disease!

I made the volleyball team!




HECK YES.

Mush;

As my last days of summer are present, I have realized that my brain has formed into mush. If it hadn't been for the books I have lazily read throughout these months, I may have turned into a vegetable. Probably a carrot. It's because of this and only this that I am slightly looking forward to the return of school. Actually, as I think of it, the thought of waking up hours before noon, being on a schedule, and of course, seeing the many friends I have failed to keep in touch with over the summer is somewhat pleasant.

My summer however, feels more of a long weekend rather than a two and a half month break. I really wish I had been more productive. My days tend to go rather slow. I wake up late then wander throughout the house it seems, till bed time. That is one great thing about school then. It forces you to have a life.

Well maybe I'll get off this computer and make this last scrap of summer worth while.

Bad dreams;

The last two night, I've had incredibly vivid nightmares. I'm not sure why. My days are somewhat pleasant and I rarely have to deal with anything nightmarish. Well then again, I do read. And watch movies. It is kind of funny how your mind twists little things into something so complicated and weird all while you're sleeping.

Well nightmare number one I think took place in Hawaii. But it was also in my back yard. My dreams tend to mush places together. Anyways, I was in the pool while my mother was doing yard work or something and my Aunt Boni and Demi were bringing us pancakes from Boots and Kimo's(best pancakes ever, by the way. Demi knows.) So in my dream, North Korea starts bombing us.(I'm pretty sure the bombing in Hawaii part came from seeing the Pearl Harbor Memorial.) So one lands right next to my mom. Her shoulders are engulfed in flames. I rush to her and successfully put out the fire. Why both of us are not dead from having a bomb land so close to us, I don't know. I believe the rest of the time before I woke up was spent searching for my Aunt Boni and Demi. Even though it was just a dream, I hated the feeling of not knowing whether they were alive or not. I felt incredibly relieved after waking up, as I usually do after a nightmare such as this one. But then again, I kind of wished I could of slept longer to see if I ever found them.

Nightmare number two took place during the times of the Holocaust. This one was especially horrible. It started with me in the eyes of a Jewish man who was coming into a concentration camp for the first time. After being shown around, the man was taken on to a boat and given a helmet. The soldiers used him as a target for shooting practice. I guess because of the helmets, the bullets didn't kill them but he did end up with holes in his head. His head and everyone else's there, excluding the soldiers, looked like swiss cheese. After getting used to life in the concentration camp, a soldier placed him in a march line. Knowing that his time for death was coming close, he decided to attempt an escape from the camp. And as my dreams tend to go, he was successful. He found a family that took him in their home but I guess he had daughter that he lost and wanted to find her. I don't know how but they ended up finding her and right before she entered the protection of they're home, some police came by and all of a sudden, she turned into a baby calf. So I guess it was a happy ending? I'm not sure.

Dreams and nightmares tend to be particularly confusing as you can tell from trying to explain mine. And I will leave you with my prayer. From age three to eight, I said this every night before going to bed.

Dear Jesus,
Please help me have only good dreams and no bad dreams.
Amen.

$%#*&!@;

My recently shampooed hair smells like candy.
I think it's hilarious when old people are smoking.
Scouting boys is fun. Talking to them, not so much.
I can make amazing smoothies. I've had three today!
I love watching free movies on On Demand.
Harry and the Potters was the first concert I went to.
If things went right, I would be seeing Death Cab tomorrow.
I think I'm turning into a Disney Channel geek.
I'm wearing the matching skort me, Demi, my mom and aunt bought.
I gotta go potty and I'm really tired but I feel the desperate need to write this.
Chlorine is the best smell ever.
I love reading the comics. (my favorite is Pearls Before Swine)
Lately, I've been finding it hard to sit down with a book.
When I lost my phone, I felt like a part of me was missing.(not even kidding)
I'm kind of hungry right now. A bread roll sounds good.
My bladder is about to burst.

A reality show for everyone!!!!;

So I was sitting in the waiting room of the doctors office, staring blankly at the television playing the "Suite Life" when a woman sat next to me. At first glance, I noticed she was very tall, thin, and had long hair. I began to think she would totally do well on America's Next Top Model when I noticed what she was wearing. A sweater, dresspants, and those sick Etnies tennishoes. I know I am not a fashion expert but you don't have to be one to know that dress pants and any kind of tennishoes, Etnies or not, do not go together. So then of course I thought she would benefit from being on What Not to Wear.

After evaluating this lady and actually watching some waiting room tv, a couple came in with two little kids. I think the mom was the sick one so she just sat in a corner looking miserable. Her husband had to deal with the kids. First thing after sitting down, one of the kids, a little girl, starts wining... loudly. The dad does try his best to shut her up but this kids is a brat. While Dad is talking, she actually covers his mouth with her hand! He just grabs her arm and she starts crying like he kicked a puppy. If she was my kid I would of taken her outside and swatted her! Naturally, I thought this family totally needed Nanny 911.

Later, while sitting in the car on the way home from the doctors office, I began to realize that every single person on this planet could be categorized into different reality shows. I told my mom this and she said, "You should make one of those quizzes on Facebook! You could call it Which Reality Show Do You Belong In!" Hahaha. (My mom hates those quizzes.)

So anyways. yeah.

Finally I can relax;.

SCHOOL IS OUT! Gah! All of the tension I felt earlier is diminished. I did really well on all my finals, got out of my detention, and now it's over. And I would just like to say that I finished my freshman year of High School with a FOUR POINT OH!

But it is kind of weird. I waited for summer so long and now that it's here, I still feel like I'm going to have to force myself out of bed tomorrow and shuffle off to school. But then I remember that I don't have to do that and I feel a huge sense of relief.

I know I've only been out for less than a week but I'm kind of disappointed in how lazy I've been. I suppose it has been rainy and I've been kind of busy so there's that excuse. Well I still have a whole summer left.

AAGH;

I am stressed out. I want to curl up into a ball and cry until school is over. All of these finals, speeches, and even detentions I have to do are overwhelming me to my limit.

My self confidence is diminishing at an alarming rate. Twice now, I have been last chosen for P.E. baseball. And I recently participated in a Survivor game and was first to be voted off my team. I know this is probably mostly because of my lack of athletic ability but come on. Anyways these types of thing are really starting to hurt.

Well I have a headache.

The attack of the Ninjas;

My wrist. Sprained it playing soccer on Thursday. It is now bruised and it hurts so, so very much.

My eye. Is black. My cousin Leah, tossed her cell phone at me and it hit my cheek. I couldn't catch it because of my wrist. Funny how those things work out. But not really. Why my eye is black when it hit my cheek, I do not know.

My skin. Burned. Went to Wild Waves with my friend who's mom is the most protective mother I know. Assumed she would have sun block for her precious children. I was wrong and now my nose is bright red, along with my cheeks. And I have a pretty bad farmers tan.

So pretty much, the only way to solve my problems would be to amputate my wrist and drench my entire body in concealer. Oh, if only my mind was a tad more insane, I might just do that.

I'll just blame it all on the Ninjas. Why not?

Well, school is out in three weeks. Or fourteen days. I am very, truly, excited for summer break. It will be amazing.

oh so much;

So I've been meaning to update but have been putting it off due to the fact that there are just so many things I want to write about. From how I got cute pink shorts at Costco to how I fell into the river in them. So I've decided I just need to sit down and update. Here goes....

-Last week, my school announced that ASB class elections have arrived and forms to run for office were available. Ever since last elections, I've regretted not running for anything so I picked up a form and began my campaign for Secretary. Apparently, I was the only one who did this so I pretty much ran unopposed. My friend, Toni, however had three people running against her. Since I had no one to campaign against, I became her official campaign manager. Though, how much she did for her own campaign was little in comparison to what I did. I guess you could say that I was her campaign photographer since I just took pictures for her flyer's. In the end, she won and is our official Class of 2012 President Elect. And I am Secretary Elect. That was my week.

-This Thursday, I decided to keep beef and pork out of my diet. So I have now lasted a little more than a weekend without red meat. I think doing this will be better on my digestive system and just be more healthy. I am really excited to continue this habit and hope it will make a difference.

-This weekend has been really great. Literally nice weather the whole time. I had my cousins, Charli and Demi, spend the night on Friday and Demi and I got to happy dance together about going to Hawaii with each other this summer! Every time I think about that trip, I want to jump up and down like a five year old on crack. We also made plans to go on a canoe trip with our dad's, which if that works out, I will be equally excited for. Ok, then on Saturday all three of us went on a walk to the river with my dog, Lilee. We went all the way down the Dike until Grandmother's house, where Charli stayed and hung out with cousin, Alyssa. Then Demi and I went home and decided to go on a bike ride on the trail. Towards the end of our ride, we stopped by at this stream and had a miniature picnic. This is where the caption for my fine photograph comes in. So I walked across the stream to climb upon that log where Demi took pictures. I got back to the bank, dry. I decided to cross again, slipped, and got soaked. Ha ha, funny. I had to ride my bike all the way back to my dads shop and walk all the way home with wet clothes. Which I suppose wasn't all bad since the weather was really, really, nice. It was all good memories.

So if you lasted through this ginormous blog, thankyou and congratulations! It took forever to write, and I'm sure forever to read. I hope you all had a lovely Memorial Day weekend as I did, and lets all pray for this great weather to continue!

I made a life changing discovery;

Okay, so I don't know how life changing this discovery actually is, but it's pretty amazing anyways.

Up till now, whenever I've had to do chores and whatnot, I would just suck it up and do it. All throughout completing the task, I would just completely loathe life and want the dang dishes/carpets to clean themselves.

But yesterday, my dad asked me to wash the dishes. Of course, I immediately begged him to make someone else do it. Dishes are by far my least favorite chore and on this particular occasion, the dishes hadn't been done in over a week. Finally he convinced me after saying, "You will be rewarded." (Exact words, I swear.)

So I finally got off my butt to start on the mountain of dishes. But on a side thought, I plugged my I pod into the stereo so I could listen to music while I trudged through the endless task before me.

Now I love music but have never really been much of a listen to music any time, anywhere type of person. Usually, I just listen when I'm on the computer or in the car. But after finishing the dishes and realizing how fast time had gone by, I was shocked.

I think after this experience, I have realized how awesome music really is. I will definitely plug my I pod into the stereo more often, especially when doing dishes and other mundane chores.

So eventually;

My big brother made up for being "sick" on his senior servitude day.





This is Hanna Montana.







And this is her/his lamo-o face dance. He was too lazy to learn the lyrics so he just went up there and danced with no music. I was really upset. But, hey, I guess this is better than nothing.






Also, today I took my written drivers test to get my permit. I failed. I can't believe I failed. I'm so dissapointed in myself. Luckily, my mom wasn't mad at me and she'll let me take it again next monday. If I fail again, I can't get my permit until I enroll in drivers ed which won't be for months. Wish me luck?

My belief system;

I believe that addiction to chocolate is a real and serious thing.

I believe that dogs are the sweetest creatures to roam this earth.

I believe that Fall is a magical time of year.

I believe that sleeping till 1 p.m. on the weekends is perfectly acceptable.

I believe that ones connection to earth is an important and awesome thing.

I believe that reading is the greatest form of lazy entertainment.

I believe that mangoes and strawberries are a great gift from God.

I believe that people who are weak and intelligent overpower those who are strong and stupid.

Most of all, I believe that you must live your life how you want to live it and you should set your goals high and never give up on them.

And a slap in the face;

I will start off by apologizing to my very few readers at how sappy, bubbly , and stupid my last blog was. I am embarrassed by how over excited I got. So yes, my weekend did not go quite as planned.

My brother is a baby. In the morning he was "too sick" to put on the lovely outfit I had put together for him. So that pretty much crushed my Friday. Track practice was alright. There was some really freaky weather. It was raining the biggest rain drops I've ever seen in my life but for only like thirty seconds. Then after it stopped you could see the rain pouring just a hundred yards away. But once that ended, track was pretty fun.

So the main plan was for my cousin, Demi, to come over and then the next day, we'd go on a bike ride/picnic and such. But since my dumb brother was sick, she didn't want to get infected which is totally understandable but you know... Luckily what we did instead was equally fun. I spent the night at her house and we did make duck tape bows then the next day we went to the spring fair. I don't think I have ever eaten so much food in my life. At the fair, I had corn on the cob, a scone, two ice cream cones, and wow it seems even more than that. Then when we got back to Demi's house and i really thought I was too full to eat anything else, Tracy went and bought us smoothies which I ate all of mine and half of Demi's. And to top it all off, we later went to this one restaurant where I ate half a salad and a plate of fries.

So it is official. I am a fatty. At this rate, I will be obese within the next two years. I really need to learn self control!

After being home from Demi's for less than an hour, I went to babysit for Carlo's and Ellissa's kids. All three of them are way cute but it would be a lie if I said that I was disappointed they were all asleep when I got there. So it wasn't that bad. I read half of my Washington Drivers Licensing book and even got to read a tad bit of my stupid vampire (or vampyre) book.

Then I went home. Watched two episode of South Park. And went to bed. Woke up. Made thee best Crepe`s in the world. Had a lazy Sunday. Had a great Monday. And here I am now.

Oh, the next few days shall just be grand;

And no sarcasm on that bit.

I fully expect tomorrow to be amazing. One obvious thing that makes me so confident that tomorrow will be great is that it's Friday. But not just any normal Friday, mind you. It's senior servitude day! And my big brother just happens to be a senior. And my English teacher just happened to buy him in the auction and just happened to give me full responsibility to dress him up. Unfortunately, my big brother is a baby and has to get sick so it's not a for sure thing whether he'll actually go to school. Oh, but he just has to. Well he is feeling better. His temperature is back to normal but it was at 102 earlier today. Please, please, please stay down! And then we get to make soup in Ethnic Foods!

But this spectacular day does not end with school. There's track. Which should be ok because it's been pretty nice out. Speaking of track, we had a meet today and I am pretty dang proud of myself. So I decided to drop shot put just because I'm literally half the size of all the other throwers. Anyways in disc, I went up ten feet from my old personal record and in jav, I went up eight feet. So yay!!

Then after track tomorrow, my cousin, Demi is coming over and spending the night! I love Demi!!! She is such a great cousin. I think we'll make bows from duck tapes and talk for days and maybe watch a movie. Then if it's nice on Saturday we're packing a lunch and going on a bike ride and take pictures. Oh that just sounds like so much fun. I really just can't wait.

I will write another blog later about how it all went, mmmmkay??? Ooh! Maybe I'll even post pictures of my brother all dressed up. Oh I hope it all works out!!!!

A girl from my school was killed along with her four younger siblings;

Her name was Maxine Harrison. I didn't even know such a person existed until this monday. She was just one grade above me. I spent the entire day just trying to picture her face. Not until just a bit ago I figured out what she looked like. You know, she was that one girl I saw practically everyday leaving my first period class. I never said a word to her and now she's gone.

Just knowing that this girl who's my age, who I walked by everyday, who was taught by the same teachers as I am is dead makes me feel sick.

But most of all, it put my life into perspective. As I was getting ready for bed last sunday night, I was just dreading the thought of having to wake up and face the monotony of school once more. But then I remembered those five Harrison kids who were taken from this world just days before. Any one of those kids would have done anything to take my place in those boring classes. It made me realize that I really just need to appreciate what I have and that I'm lucky enough to be able to live. I will live my life to the fullest. I won't let an opportunity pass me by. I will make something of myself. I'm glad to be living and that's enough.

So anyways,
May God bless the Harrison kids.

Last Kiss;

I've heard this song on the radio before and thought nothing of it until today. I mean, I've always liked it and never changed the station when it was on but I've never actually payed attention to it.

But today it came on while I was in the car with my mom. The station was 107.7 The End, a station she doesn't really care for and only listens to with me. So this song came on and my mom of all people reaches to turn the volume up and exclaims, "Have you heard this song before? This was popular when I was a kid." Of course the version we were listening was re-done by Pearl Jam in 1999. But anyways this made me actually listen to the song and the lyrics and such.

I actually cried. For the very first time in my life I actually cried from listening to a song.

"She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world." I think this is the line that made me break.

Please listen to this song so you know what I mean. It's great.

Spring Fever;

The sun shining, the birds chirping, the trees blooming. Spring is in the air and I can feel it! I know, I know, sounds cliche`, but it's the only way I know how to put it. Today was just a really great day. School didn't even seem as dreadfully boring as usual! But the real fun started after school.

First thing was track practice. As I was walking to the locker room, I could tell that practice was bound to be fun just because it was such a nice day out. And I was right. First we did the warm up drill and some sprint workouts which I hate but that didn't last too long. Then it was off to the jav. I think my favorite thing to throw has to be the Javelin. Today, was the first day that I got to really throw it, and I think with practice, I could get pretty good at it! Then the shot put was definitely not the same story. Unlike the jav, the shot put requires a lot of physical strength, which I just do not have. Oh well, it's still fun to throw and I'm getting better at it, I think.

Then after track, I went home, ate some cereal, and decided to go roller blading with my dog. I mean, it was so sunny and perfect, why not? I was a tad bit nervous because on roller blades, Lilee could easily become the one in control but she ended up being a really good dog. There was one moment where I going pretty fast and all of a sudden she randomly stops to go poo and I kinda lost my balance there but no real harm. For the most part, she pretty much stayed clear of all other dogs, only sniffing their butts a quick moment and she was done. So I think rollerblading with my dog will definitely be something I'll do more often!

Ok so now the Office is on! Gotta go!

So;

There were a lot of things that happened today that didn't make me especially happy. I'm not going to go into much detail because I love the people who made me sad and don't want them to get upset. But I felt unappreciated and... I don't know, just blah.

Anyways, tonight was the Variety show and it was actually pretty good for the most part. I didn't realize how many talented kids there were in my school. I really want to do something for it next year. Maybe a skit or dance or solo. Hmmm, I suppose I'll put more thought into it next year when it actually comes close.

Well I think I shall call it a night. And I'm off to the television.

My review on the Changeling;

Five stars. All I've got to say is that this is the best movie I've seen in a long time. Just thinking about the movie makes me want to break down in tears! Every single actor/actress did a superb job. The storyline was just so intense, I can't believe it was a true story! So anyways, I just wanted to express my feelings about the movie and I recommend it to anyone!!!

My colonoscopy;

Colonoscopies are pretty much the worst things I have to do. I have now gotten two within my fifteen years of living. I suppose it's not actually the colonoscopy that's bad, it's the prep for it.

On Wednesday, I could eat nothing but popsicles, jello, and hard candy. Which this might sound like a great diet to some people, but really, it's not at all. Then I had to take two doses of laxatives. Not only did these laxatives do well, what laxatives do, they are the nastiest liquid I have ever consumed! It took me forever to actually drink all of it. And when I was done, I had a huge stomach ache, I felt like I was going to vomit! Luckily, it wasn't as bad as last time because later, I felt more hungry than I felt sick.

Thursday was the day of the big appointment. Which really isn't that big because all they do is put an I.V. in my arm, put me to sleep, and then I wake up. Ah, I really do love the anesthesia, though! It's the weirdest thing! The doctor attaches this white tube to your I.V. and you barely realize he's injecting stuff into your arm before you wake up and it's all over. When I was waking up, I was so confused! For a few seconds, I completely forgot everything about my colonoscopy and until I opened my eyes, I thought I was still at home! And then for the next five minutes, apparently I acted really loopy. My mom says I kept laughing at my foot because it fell out of the bed and I was saying that my foot falls out of my bed at home too. Which I don't remember that really well but i do remember thinking it was my brother who woke me up but really, it was the doctor. Anyways, next time I get a colonoscopy, I will be careful to keep completely silent when i wake up so i don't make a fool out of myself!

And then when I got home, I ate a huge meal of Teriyaki!! It was the best meal ever.
And now it's all over and I couldn't be more relieved!

Official Most Embarrassing Moment;

So it all went down at lunch. Because of course I had to have the clutziest moment in my life during the time I am with 1/3 of the student body.

Pretty much, I fell on my butt and the entire cafeteria saw it.

I was just sitting there, laughing with my friends, and all of a sudden, my chair literally shoots out from underneath me! It ended up hitting the table that was like 20 feet away from ours. Just my luck, this table, was where a bunch of upper classman boys sat. Half the lunchroom burst with laughter, although I thought it was pretty funny as well so I just laughed right along with them.
Luckily this nice boy went and got my chair for me and he didn't laugh at all. Though, I don't blame anyone for laughing at me becuase if I were them, I would of laughed too. And I did laugh, actually... alot.

Basketball Games and Screaming Dads;

Today, I attended an OHS basketball game at Charles Right. The energy was really high due to the fact that we were in the playoffs and the game was neck and neck the entire time! Our team leaded the game by just a few point for almost the whole game until there was just three minutes left on the clock in the fourth quarter. I felt like I was going to vomit from nerves the last bit of the game! Sadly, we ended up losing by only two points.

But this intense game does not sum up my night my any measures. Right when the game was over, my very own father went up to the referees and yelled, "You suck ref!!" And my dad has a very vicious tone when he is upset, and I swear, If he hadn't left the gym, he could of been taken away with hand cuffs! At the time, this was very embarrassing, but now that I really think about it, all the kids my age probably thought the whole fiasco was hilarious. Tomorrow, I'm sure more than one kid will come up to me asking if that mad man at the basketball game was my dad. And I really don't mind.

Some things that not many people may know about me is that;

I spend most of free time playing online Scrabble and reading.
I often make cookies just to eat the dough.
When I was in second grade, I used to narrate my life in my head. I'm sad I don't do that anymore.
I WILL go to Antarctica at some point in my life. I'm really excited for it.
I think it would be really fun to model. But it wouldn't be fun having to puke my guts out after a large meal.
I get a kick out of outsmarting my dog.
I really wish that I had been more active as a child so I could be good at sports.

So pretty much.....